1: talentless alter ego

my mom always loved photography. she's not really talented in taking pictures, but well, she had been trying so hard to learn that it becoming a part-time freelance photographer came to her mind. mom was almost so good in potrait photography that she even thought of competing in nationals. but her thoughts remains as thoughts..

mom bought her first camera at the age of 12. it was an i-zone polaroid. she took it to her first prom night, took pictures of everybody, and lastly, she learned that the film was absolutely uneasy to get. even until now. her first real camera, a dslr, bought at the age of 19. she went crazy afterwards!

however, poor her. as much as she wanted that particular camera, she had had some rules in using it, although it was hers. her parents were the problem. they thought she might lose her camera in an instant if she took it to her college.

so, in order to heal her heart that was missing her camera, with her phone unable to read any memory card, and her laptop wrecked and could not do work with it anymore, mom cheered herself by buying a new camera. an old type of analog camera; one that uses films; and its a lomo. it was a yellow ultra wide and slim lomo cam with jelly lenses. she bought it online, using my name no less!

mom has always wanted to be somebody who's not herself. an alter ego to whatever she is. that's why she created me, as an alter ego. her real self was someone who was not very reserved but she controlled herself well. she might not be an all-tudung type, but as she said she never wanted to go to a club, she never did. she hated being touched and held by people-even girls, sometimes- and she was a very fragile little person.

mom wears what she wants; red shoes with yellow baju kurung, boots and dresses, because that's who she is. she never wanted to be anyone but herself, although sometimes she wishes that she'd be rich so that she could come home more often. but deep inside, mom is a wild kinda person. she's wild at heart, as she puts it herself. that's the reason for the title, if u might want to ask why.